Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Party In The Front...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Fundraiser Bonus
WOW!! The response from the fundraiser has been great. We have yet to sell any tickets but the hits we've received on the blog have been over 100 in 18 hours! This is why Trevor and I created the blog. To bring awareness to adoption and be support for others going through it!! But other awesome news.. 3 amazing ladies who read the blog asked if they could donate something for the raffle. Instead of making the grand prize even bigger, I've decided to do a 2nd and 3rd place prize.
2nd Place Prize:
A One-Hour Photography session, CD and print rights from Kara Piehl Photography
3rd Place Prize:
Just imagine these are 2 dozen holiday cookies donated by amazing baker Bella Cake Creations.
2nd Place Prize:
Kara took our photos for the blog. She is also our great neighbor!! Since she just had a sweet baby, this will be for Dalhart residents only!
Any Matilda Jane outfit up to $50!
My friend Nikki (also MJ consultant) has told me about Matilda Jane forever. Her daughter wears MJ in all of their family pictures and looks adorable. Well since I had little K, I finally had a reason and excuse to shop it and love it! Nikki was so kind to donate a cute outfit! Check out the Matilda Jane website!
These were her Halloween cookies she made. But since I had to hurry and post this I didn't give her time to send me her holiday cookies :-) Amberly heard our story and immediately contacted me about donating! I truly appreciate her kindness and thoughtfulness. These will be shipped to your home!!
The grand prize is worth over $300 and both the 2nd and 3rd place prizes are well over $100!! You don't want to miss out on your chance to win as well as help bring our baby home :-)
We truly appreciate you...
Friday, November 25, 2011
Our Only Fundraiser (Or So I Think...)
About a month ago, Jessica from Sew Silly and I had an amazing conversation. Amazing because she, without hesitation, donated one of their fabulous purses for me to raffle off to raise money for our adoption! I was in complete shock. You all know how much I LOVE my purse (and know how much you envy it ;-)) so the fact that I had a chance to raffle one off made me super excited! And I would like to say congratulations to them. A few stores around Lubbock and San Angelo have begun selling their items and they are now in talks with a manufacturing company that will produce the purses they design. God has truly blessed them and I am so excited for them!!
We really were not planning on doing fundraisers because we know how much each of you are pulled in so many directionsat is truly amazing is that every time we've had to pay for this fee or that fee, the exact money has been in our adoption account. God is providing and we are completely trusting in Him. But when the Three Mama Birds so generously gave us the bag, I definitely jumped on board to raise a few extra dollars to get our +1 home!
Wellll...to make the raffle even more rad, some other VERY generous people decided to donate more incredible products! In one day, we had four precious women, so willingly, donate to help us out! I love you all dearly and am so thankful for your kindness.
So without further adieu, here are ALL of the products you will receive if you win the raffle (to be held on December 10 at 5:00pm)
We really were not planning on doing fundraisers because we know how much each of you are pulled in so many directionsat is truly amazing is that every time we've had to pay for this fee or that fee, the exact money has been in our adoption account. God is providing and we are completely trusting in Him. But when the Three Mama Birds so generously gave us the bag, I definitely jumped on board to raise a few extra dollars to get our +1 home!
Wellll...to make the raffle even more rad, some other VERY generous people decided to donate more incredible products! In one day, we had four precious women, so willingly, donate to help us out! I love you all dearly and am so thankful for your kindness.
So without further adieu, here are ALL of the products you will receive if you win the raffle (to be held on December 10 at 5:00pm)
3-in-1 Facial Cleanser
Age Fighting Moisturizer
Absolute best Ultimate Mascara
Eye Makeup Remover to get mascara off (P.S. this stuff works on EVERYTHING...stains, spills,etc)
Thank you mommy for donating my favorite Mary Kay products. Please visit her facebook page to order your next Mary Kay products!
This gorgeous handmade wreath from Hannah McPhearson. As I pulled out my Christmas stuff this morning I realized my wreath is missing! This is definitely on my to-order list! So beautiful
Mid-Size Scentsy Warmer
Thank you Hannah for donating. I have never met Hannah but know her sister. She heard our story and immediately contacted me wanting to help in some way. Not only did she give 1 item but she donated 2! Thank you, thank you Hannah!
Pampered Chef jumbo BBQ spatula, Raspberry Habanero sauce and 2 Season Best Cookbooks
There is no surprise that Pampered Chef products are my favorite. I'm so thankful God gave me a best friend as a PC consultant!!! Thank you Rebecca for not only donating but for your continued love and support!
And the grand-prize that we have all been waiting for and so desperately want...
Completely custom and unique Three Mama Birds Purse
Inside fabric
Isn't it gorgeous?!? I may rig the drawing so I can have it. Is that greedy?!?! No..it's just plain wrong :-) I love love love my purse my hubby surprised me with and I have received at least 100 compliments! Thank you Three Mama Birds for the wonderful donation!
Tickets are $10.00 each or 4 for $30.00
If you sell tickets from your blog or facebook page, I will enter your name twice into the drawing (just let me know by emailing me a link of your post or have them to tell me you sent them).
To order you can pay through paypal on the right hand side of our blog (make sure to include your address so I can send your portion of the raffle ticket) or contact me at 06tt08kk@gmail.com and I'll give you my address to send a check. As soon as I receive it I will mail you your portion of the ticket.
PLEASE OH PLEASE spread the word. Our goal is to sell 50 tickets. That $500 will be used to pay half our dossier fees!! Congo has to have these documents in order to match us up with our +1!
Thank you so very much for your support. You have no idea how much we appreciate it!
Now get busy selling and buying the tickets. This is something you do not want to miss out on! Drawing will be held Saturday, December 10 at 5:00p.m. and I will of course document the action!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Giving Thanks
I should be having a VERY exciting post coming today or tomorrow so I wanted to make sure to get this posted.
Trevor, Big K, Little K, Our +1 and I would like to say how thankful we are for each and every one of you. Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, prayers, prayers, and donations. Thank you for keeping up with our crazy life by reading our blog. Thank you for caring! I really didn't think I would get emotional right now writing this but the tears are flowing. We are just truly amazed by the support we have received. I can't tell you how much easier it makes this journey!
God, thank You for putting people in our life who are truly concerned about taking care of Your orphans. Thank You for the words You give them to encourage us. They always seem to be just the right words on just the right day. Thank You for our +1. Thank You for taking care of him by giving him the nourishment, love and energy he needs until we come and get him. Thank You for the MANY blessings You have given us.
Please know that this is truly our prayer for each and every one of you! We love you dearly...
"3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. 8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. 9 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. 10 For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. 11 May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ[a]—for this will bring much glory and praise to God." Phil. 1:3-11
Why Wednesday #2
Whew, I was afraid I was going to miss my deadline for Why Wednesday. It almost became Why Friday or Saturday!! Luckily Little K is sleeping and Big K is watching Calliou so I have about 10 minutes, give or take, to try and write this before we head out to Mimi's house :-)
Why International Adoption?
Many people have asked us why we decided to adopt overseas rather than here in the United States. They bring up the fact that there are thousands of kids in the U.S. who need homes just as much as those elsewhere.
We have prayed very hard about where God wanted us to adopt from. He gave us a vision (coming in another post on Why Wednesday) so we knew our child was in another country. But after putting the natural (research on the Internet) with the supernatural (prayer and the way God lined things up) we had our pros and cons list:
Pros:
-Usually goes much faster due to the number of children available and being ready in orphanages
-Most of the time, costs less due to not having to take care of birth mother's medical and living expenses
-Can specify gender of child
-Giving a child opportunities that they may never have
-Since we have children of our own, getting a child under the age of 2 is almost impossible in the U.S.
-We don't have to wait to be selected by a birth mom
-There aren't any chances of a birth mom backing out or fighting for custody 3-6-9 months down the road
-Showing a child God's love and impacting him for eternity. Unfortunately most countries are not Christians and therefore he/she may never hear the gospel
-We are doing our small part in "going into all the nations and preaching the good news." (Mark 16:15)
-Some countries, the statistics for child and baby deaths are 3 or 4 out of every 5 due to malnourishment and living conditions
-We will not only gain a child but also an entire culture
Cons:
-Most infants are at least 9 months to 1 year of age. Almost impossible to get an infant baby
-Lots and lots of paperwork that has to be authenticated by your state and United States then the country you're adopting from
-Have to deal with the other countries laws and court system and sometimes corruption
-Travel (can go either way depending on where you're going. Since we're going to Congo, it's a very dangerous place to travel, so no sight-seeing or witnessing or mission work for us).
-Obtaining visas, immigration fingerprints, etc.
Overall, FOR US, we felt as if the children who are in the United States waiting to be adopted will have opportunities. Our little +1 is just trying to make it to it's only meal of the day or wondering when it might get it nexts' bath of cold, dirty water. Our little +1 is just trying to beat the statistics and live past it's 5th birthday. Please know that in no way are we putting down domestic adoptions. If the opportunity ever arose for us to adopt domestically we would do it in a heartbeat. But for our family circumstances and what God has called US to do, we have peace about "not leaving our orphan but going to him."
Why International Adoption?
Many people have asked us why we decided to adopt overseas rather than here in the United States. They bring up the fact that there are thousands of kids in the U.S. who need homes just as much as those elsewhere.
We have prayed very hard about where God wanted us to adopt from. He gave us a vision (coming in another post on Why Wednesday) so we knew our child was in another country. But after putting the natural (research on the Internet) with the supernatural (prayer and the way God lined things up) we had our pros and cons list:
Pros:
-Usually goes much faster due to the number of children available and being ready in orphanages
-Most of the time, costs less due to not having to take care of birth mother's medical and living expenses
-Can specify gender of child
-Giving a child opportunities that they may never have
-Since we have children of our own, getting a child under the age of 2 is almost impossible in the U.S.
-We don't have to wait to be selected by a birth mom
-There aren't any chances of a birth mom backing out or fighting for custody 3-6-9 months down the road
-Showing a child God's love and impacting him for eternity. Unfortunately most countries are not Christians and therefore he/she may never hear the gospel
-We are doing our small part in "going into all the nations and preaching the good news." (Mark 16:15)
-Some countries, the statistics for child and baby deaths are 3 or 4 out of every 5 due to malnourishment and living conditions
-We will not only gain a child but also an entire culture
Cons:
-Most infants are at least 9 months to 1 year of age. Almost impossible to get an infant baby
-Lots and lots of paperwork that has to be authenticated by your state and United States then the country you're adopting from
-Have to deal with the other countries laws and court system and sometimes corruption
-Travel (can go either way depending on where you're going. Since we're going to Congo, it's a very dangerous place to travel, so no sight-seeing or witnessing or mission work for us).
-Obtaining visas, immigration fingerprints, etc.
Overall, FOR US, we felt as if the children who are in the United States waiting to be adopted will have opportunities. Our little +1 is just trying to make it to it's only meal of the day or wondering when it might get it nexts' bath of cold, dirty water. Our little +1 is just trying to beat the statistics and live past it's 5th birthday. Please know that in no way are we putting down domestic adoptions. If the opportunity ever arose for us to adopt domestically we would do it in a heartbeat. But for our family circumstances and what God has called US to do, we have peace about "not leaving our orphan but going to him."
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Planting Trees Is Hard Work
A couple of weeks ago Trevor and Big K worked all morning preparing the two holes we were going to need to plant our new trees. It was precious to me watching my boys work really hard together. I appreciate Trevor for letting his little three-year-old son who can either A. get in the way or B. ask a million questions, work with him as if he was his right-hand man!
When I look at this picture it makes me think of our adoption and little Kohen. We are working so diligently preparing our home for him. My hand is now stronger than it ever was filling out thousands of papers. We are spending countless hours reading blogs and textbooks and binders on issues regarding adoption, especially transracial adoptions. Trevor (and Big K) both came in utterly exhausted from digging out the dirt for 5 hours! At this point, I am spent. I'm tired of all of the paperwork, the reading, the thinking, the praying, the wondering, the crying. But just like Trevor knew that he had to do all of the prep work in order to allow the beautiful tree to survive, I too know that this must all be done for our little +1 to have a loving home filled with the love of Jesus and oh how worth it it will be!!
When I look at this picture it makes me think of our adoption and little Kohen. We are working so diligently preparing our home for him. My hand is now stronger than it ever was filling out thousands of papers. We are spending countless hours reading blogs and textbooks and binders on issues regarding adoption, especially transracial adoptions. Trevor (and Big K) both came in utterly exhausted from digging out the dirt for 5 hours! At this point, I am spent. I'm tired of all of the paperwork, the reading, the thinking, the praying, the wondering, the crying. But just like Trevor knew that he had to do all of the prep work in order to allow the beautiful tree to survive, I too know that this must all be done for our little +1 to have a loving home filled with the love of Jesus and oh how worth it it will be!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Why Wednesday
Since we began this journey called adoption, we have been asked so many Why?!?! questions. People are curious and I think that's great! I'm used to my three-year-old asking a million why questions. It's the way he learns! To help your curiosity, we are starting "Why Wednesdays". Each Wednesday we will answer a question that people have asked. If you have a question, please comment or email (06tt08kk@gmail.com) us and we'll answer (maybe...)!!
Why Did We Decide To Adopt?
In April 2005, I served Trevor hamburgers at the TTU Equestrian center during the Ranch Horse Competition. From that moment on I was immediately smitten with "the boy in the cowboy hat". God knew it wasn't the right time to bring us together so it was a simple hi! When school resumed in August 2005, we saw each other at the store my mom ran in the Animal Science building and he said, "Hey aren't you that girl from the equestrian center?" All I could get out was, "Yeah!" I ran down to my mom's office, with my heart pounding, and said, "He said hi!!" Mom replied, "And who was that?" "The boy in the cowboy hat!!" My friend Colton knew I had a "crush" on Trevor so when they were selling Ranch Horse t-shirts he made an excuse for me to stop by and buy one on my way to class. Trevor and I ended up being officially introduced and for the next 30 minutes his friend Matt talked to me, not Trevor! It was time to leave "the boy who didn't seem interested in me" and head to class. As I walked away he yelled, "Hey wait, I'll go to class with you!" What?!? I was a Human Development and Family Studies major..There were like 2 boys in our class and about 90 girls! He insisted, so we finally talked while walking to class. Can you guess what the class was about that day? Yep, Sexual Reproduction. How's that for your "first" date?!? We didn't pay much attention. Instead we played the dot game and tic-tac-toe! That night he picked me up for church and a scoop of ice cream. After an hour of talking on his tailgate he ended the night with a, "If you ever want someone to take you for a scoop of ice cream just give me a call." I bet you thought I was going to say a kiss. Nope, he ended it with a "the next time I'm going to see you is if you want ice cream?!?!?!?" I immediately ran in and called my mom and told her I met the man I'm going to marry (so I better build up an appetitie for ice cream if I was going to have the chance to see him again ;-))! On Trevor's way home he called his mom and told her to pray because he thinks he found the woman he's going to marry. By that Friday we were in "love" and 2 months later engaged!
A week after starting my first teaching job, I found out I was pregnant. On May 1, 2008 Keldon Charles, our amazing blessing from God was born. And not only did God bless us once, but on March 11, 2011 our princess, Karsyn Louise was born! What a joy they have been in our lives. We never fully understood the love God has for us, nor can look at it the same, until we had them both.
With the joy of having biological kids, the thought of adoption can fade. After praying and seeking God, we realized our family was not complete yet because God still had another child for us... in Congo! He may not look like us, but love knows no boundaries. Yes it's a scary thought and the unknown drives us crazy, but we're completely trusting God. It's easy to say you trust God until you get in a situation that requires crazy faith! Through adoption, our +1 will have a loving home and family. Most importantly, we will be able to raise him up to love God and change the world for Him!
Why Did We Decide To Adopt?
In April 2005, I served Trevor hamburgers at the TTU Equestrian center during the Ranch Horse Competition. From that moment on I was immediately smitten with "the boy in the cowboy hat". God knew it wasn't the right time to bring us together so it was a simple hi! When school resumed in August 2005, we saw each other at the store my mom ran in the Animal Science building and he said, "Hey aren't you that girl from the equestrian center?" All I could get out was, "Yeah!" I ran down to my mom's office, with my heart pounding, and said, "He said hi!!" Mom replied, "And who was that?" "The boy in the cowboy hat!!" My friend Colton knew I had a "crush" on Trevor so when they were selling Ranch Horse t-shirts he made an excuse for me to stop by and buy one on my way to class. Trevor and I ended up being officially introduced and for the next 30 minutes his friend Matt talked to me, not Trevor! It was time to leave "the boy who didn't seem interested in me" and head to class. As I walked away he yelled, "Hey wait, I'll go to class with you!" What?!? I was a Human Development and Family Studies major..There were like 2 boys in our class and about 90 girls! He insisted, so we finally talked while walking to class. Can you guess what the class was about that day? Yep, Sexual Reproduction. How's that for your "first" date?!? We didn't pay much attention. Instead we played the dot game and tic-tac-toe! That night he picked me up for church and a scoop of ice cream. After an hour of talking on his tailgate he ended the night with a, "If you ever want someone to take you for a scoop of ice cream just give me a call." I bet you thought I was going to say a kiss. Nope, he ended it with a "the next time I'm going to see you is if you want ice cream?!?!?!?" I immediately ran in and called my mom and told her I met the man I'm going to marry (so I better build up an appetitie for ice cream if I was going to have the chance to see him again ;-))! On Trevor's way home he called his mom and told her to pray because he thinks he found the woman he's going to marry. By that Friday we were in "love" and 2 months later engaged!
The day we got engaged at his momma's work
Doesn't he look like just a babe?? He was..we were only 20!!
At our "tool" shower
Believe it or not, we both have always wanted to get married barefoot on the beach. We found, the best and cheapest way was to take a cruise that docked on the beach, get married and sail back home. Bad thing was, the only available time to get all of our family together for four days was the first of March. We set sail, to get married, exactly 5 months after meeting. Why have a long engagement? Too many temptations :-) We skipped school on a Thursday and came back the next Tuesday MARRIED!! We wouldn't do a thing differently! Our families really got to bond and we got to have 4 days of fun with 20 of our closest friends and family. The only downside, joining the family for breakfast the morning after the wedding...
We love and miss you Uncle Jimmy. Thanks for being a huge part of our special day!
What was this post suppose to be about?! Oh yeah, why we decided to adopt?? In the summer of 2001, Trevor was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. He received chemotherapy treatments for three years and entered remission in September 2004 (by the way, he isn't in remission, he was completely healed by our amazing Jehovah- Rapha.. Thank you Jesus!!)
After we got engaged, I visited the doctors who had worked with Trevor for so many years. I was given news that could have ruined me. The doctor asked, "Are yall wanting to have kids?" Of course we were. I was made to be a mom! And my mom says the only reason she had kids was to be a grandma!! The doctors just simply said, "Because of the chemo Trevor received, you will have a much harder time to conceive." On the drive back to Lubbock from Amarillo I asked Trevor what he thought of adopting. He replied without hesitation, "Of course. God adopted us, why wouldn't we do the same?"
With the joy of having biological kids, the thought of adoption can fade. After praying and seeking God, we realized our family was not complete yet because God still had another child for us... in Congo! He may not look like us, but love knows no boundaries. Yes it's a scary thought and the unknown drives us crazy, but we're completely trusting God. It's easy to say you trust God until you get in a situation that requires crazy faith! Through adoption, our +1 will have a loving home and family. Most importantly, we will be able to raise him up to love God and change the world for Him!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lubbock Trip
Raise your hand if you know when I went to Lubbock last. Ok, you that raised your hand. Let's keep it a secret when I went and let's pretend it was just yesterday! Sorry for just now getting the Lubbock trip posted. This last week was one of the busiest weeks I've had so therefore the fun, extra post just had to wait! And sorry for the poor picture quality. Trev keeps saying since I'm an official "blogger" now, I need to get an official camera that actually takes quality pictures ;-)
A couple of weeks ago the kids and I went to Lubbock for the week. I had a women's conference in Amarillo (which was outstanding) so my folks met me there to get my kids and watch them for the night. I then drove down there and stayed a few days since Trevor was on a business trip in Austin! We of course had a great time!
One of Trevor's very best friends opened a pumpkin patch right in the middle of town so went there to pick pumpkins. Little did we know he created an entire experience!
Cute little photo op with tractor and all!
I'm assuming farmers have a tough boy look on them because that's the face Big K chose to use for the picture!
This my friend is called "Big Buddy". Since we are terrible parents and refuse our child the opportunity to grow up with a childhood pet, I'm assuming the pumpkin became his pet because that's how he treated it for the time being!
On the hay ride! If you will notice in the bottom left of the picture my adorable purse. There is something VERY exciting coming up in the near future regarding this purse (or a purse very similar to it)..stay tuned :-)
You should be laughing hysterically about now!!!
This is my little fireman at the Science Spectrum. That is such a cool place to visit in Lubbock!
Hold on to your seats..I decided to get creative!! I'm guessing the lack of laundry to do, housework to accomplish and work items afforded me the opportunity to let the creative juices explode in my head. I was feeling so creative I even went to Wal-Mart and bought $100 worth of stuff to make these:
We of course made our way to Cup of Yo. Our tradition...
My lovely momma!! I bet you can't tell she's about to turn the big 5-0?!?!
Don't be judging me right now. Beginning at the ripe age of 6 months old babies are allowed to have yogurt. It's great for their system (they didn't say what kind of yogurt and if it should have all of the extra added sugar or not)!!
Our last night there we ate at mine and Trevor's favorite place. I sent this picture to Trevor bragging about where I was eating. He replied back, "It's not as good as Pappadeaux."
I guess that's what I get for bragging. I love anything Pappas and was so jealous!!
I always love going to the big city because I feel like my kids get a taste of civilization but am always oh so happy to get back to our little town with some routine!!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Do You Smell That???
An amazing friend from Lubbock who works with my mom called her up a couple of weeks ago and told her she wanted to do a fundraiser for us. I was completely shocked that someone chose to be completely selfless and offer us all of their profits for the whole month of November. It's making me cry now. She, as this time can't adopt, and that's ok. She chose to do her part by caring for the orphans, by helping us. Stephanie, I truly appreciate you and your generosity!
Without further adieu...
I know 9 out 10 of us have a scentsy in our home. If not, this would be a great time to buy one! They also make incredible Christmas presents or secret santa gifts. They have so much to offer now in their catalogs. The following is her website. All items placed on her website will benefit us for the month of November.
Thank you in advance for your generosity! And thank you for helping us get one step closer, financially, bringing our plus 1 home!!
https://stephlovesscents.scentsy.us/Home
PS... Keldon just came in from nap time crying and said, "Mommy my hand is tired!!" I believe he's meaning it "fell asleep" haha!!
Without further adieu...
I know 9 out 10 of us have a scentsy in our home. If not, this would be a great time to buy one! They also make incredible Christmas presents or secret santa gifts. They have so much to offer now in their catalogs. The following is her website. All items placed on her website will benefit us for the month of November.
Thank you in advance for your generosity! And thank you for helping us get one step closer, financially, bringing our plus 1 home!!
https://stephlovesscents.scentsy.us/Home
PS... Keldon just came in from nap time crying and said, "Mommy my hand is tired!!" I believe he's meaning it "fell asleep" haha!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
How To Be The Village
Jen Hatmaker is an incredible writer and blogger. She recently did a post that made me say, "WOW!!" I thought it was so incredibly helpful so I wanted to share with our "little village"!
Supporting Families Before the AirportYour friends are adopting. They’re in the middle of dossiers and home studies, and most of them are somewhere in the middle of Waiting Purgatory. Please let me explain something about WP: It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and “God is refining me” and “Sovereignty trumps my feelings” and crazy bidness like that. But we are crying and aching and getting angry and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It hurts. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not. It is harder for us to see that, because many of us have pictures on our refrigerators of these beautiful darlings stuck in an orphanage somewhere while we’re bogged down in bureaucracy and delays.
How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:
1. “God’s timing is perfect!” (Could also insert: “This is all God’s plan!” “God is in charge!”) As exactly true as this may be, when you say it to a waiting parent, we want to scratch your eyebrows off and make you eat them with a spoon. Any trite answer that minimizes the struggle is as welcomed as a sack of dirty diapers. You are voicing something we probably already believe while not acknowledging that we are hurting and that somewhere a child is going to bed without a mother again. Please never say this again. Thank you.
2. “Are you going to have your own kids?” (Also in this category: “You’ll probably get pregnant the minute your adoption clears!” “Since this is so hard, why don’t you just try to have your own kids?” “Well, at least you have your own kids.”) The subtle message here is: You can always have legitimate biological kids if this thing tanks. It places adoption in the Back-up Plan Category, where it does not belong for us. When we flew to Ethiopia with our first travel group from our agency, out of 8 couples, we were the only parents with biological kids. The other 7 couples chose adoption first. Several of them were on birth control. Adoption counts as real parenting, and if you believe stuff Jesus said, it might even be closer to the heart of God than regular old procreation. (Not to mention the couples that grieved through infertility already. So when you say, “Are you going to have your own kids?” to a woman who tried for eight years, then don’t be surprised if she pulls your beating heart out like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.)
3. For those of you in Christian community, it is extremely frustrating to hear: “Don’t give up on God!” or “Don’t lose faith!” It implies that we are one nanosecond away from tossing our entire belief system in the compost pile because we are acting sad or discouraged. It’s condescending and misses the crux of our emotions. I can assure you, at no point in our story did we think about kicking Jesus to the curb, but we still get to cry tears and feel our feelings, folks. Jesus did. And I’m pretty sure he went to heaven when he died.
4. We’re happy to field your questions about becoming a transracial family or adopting a child of another race, but please don’t use this moment to trot out your bigotry. (Cluelessness is a different thing, and we try to shrug that off. Like when someone asked about our Ethiopian kids, “Will they be black?” Aw, sweet little dum-dum.) The most hurtful thing we heard during our wait was from a black pastor who said, “Whatever you do, don’t change their last name to Hatmaker, because they are NOT Hatmakers. They’ll never be Hatmakers. They are African.” What the??? I wonder if he’d launch the same grenade if we adopted white kids from Russia? If you’d like to know what we’re learning about raising children of another race or ask respectful, legitimate questions, by all means, do so. We care about this and take it seriously, and we realize we will traverse racial landmines with our family. You don’t need to point out that we are adopting black kids and we are, in fact, white. We’ve actually already thought of that.
5. Saying nothing is the opposite bad. I realize with blogs like this one, you can get skittish on how to talk to a crazed adopting Mama without getting under her paper-thin skin or inadvertently offending her. I get it. (We try hard not to act so hypersensitive. Just imagine that we are paper-pregnant with similar hormones surging through our bodies making us cry at Subaru commercials just like the 7-month preggo sitting next to us. And look at all this weight we’ve gained. See?) But acting like we’re not adopting or struggling or waiting or hoping or grieving is not helpful either. If I was pregnant with a baby in my belly, and no one ever asked how I was feeling or how much longer or is his nursery ready or can we plan a shower, I would have to audition new friend candidates immediately.
Here’s what we would love to hear Before the Airport:
1. Just kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait. We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD. I was once having lunch with my friend Lynde when AWAA called with more bad news about Ben’s case, and I laid my head down on the table in the middle of Galaxy Café and bawled. Having no idea what to do with such a hot mess, she just cried with me. Thank you for being perfect that day, Lynde.
2. Your questions are welcomed! We don’t mind telling you about the court system in Ethiopia or the in-country requirements in Nicaragua or the rules of the foster system. We’re glad to talk about adoption, and we’re thankful you care. I assure you we didn’t enter adoption lightly, so sharing details of this HUGE PIECE OF OUR LIVES is cathartic. Plus, we want you to know more because we’re all secretly hoping you’ll adopt later. (This is not true.) (Yes it is.)
3. When you say you’re praying for us and our waiting children, and you actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day.
4. If you can, please become telepathic to determine which days we want to talk about adoption and which days we’d rather you just show up on our doorstep with fresh figs from the Farmer’s Market (thanks, Katie) or kidnap us away in the middle of the day to go see Bridesmaids. Sometimes we need you to make us laugh and remember what it feels like to be carefree for a few hours. If you’re not sure which day we’re having, just pre-buy movie tickets and show up with the figs, and when we answer the door, hold them all up and ask, “Would you like to talk for an hour uninterrupted about waiting for a court date?” We’ll respond to whichever one fits.
Supporting Families After the Airport
You went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)
How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:
1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.
2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.
3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.
4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.
5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.
6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.
Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:
1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.
2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.
3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.
4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.
5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.
Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.
Because that day you brought us pulled pork tacos was the exact day I needed to skip dinner prep and hold my son on the couch for an hour, talking about Africa and beginning to bind up his emotional wounds. When you kidnapped me for two hours and took me to breakfast, I was at the very, very, absolute end that morning, but I came home renewed, able to greet my children after school with fresh love and patience. When you loved on my big kids and offered them sanctuary for a night, you kept the family rhythm in sync at the end of a hard week.
Thank you for being the village. You are so important.
Adoptive friends, what can you add? What has been helpful or hurtful? How has your community helped you raise your children? What do friends and family need to hear?
Supporting Families Before the AirportYour friends are adopting. They’re in the middle of dossiers and home studies, and most of them are somewhere in the middle of Waiting Purgatory. Please let me explain something about WP: It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and “God is refining me” and “Sovereignty trumps my feelings” and crazy bidness like that. But we are crying and aching and getting angry and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It hurts. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not. It is harder for us to see that, because many of us have pictures on our refrigerators of these beautiful darlings stuck in an orphanage somewhere while we’re bogged down in bureaucracy and delays.
How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:
1. “God’s timing is perfect!” (Could also insert: “This is all God’s plan!” “God is in charge!”) As exactly true as this may be, when you say it to a waiting parent, we want to scratch your eyebrows off and make you eat them with a spoon. Any trite answer that minimizes the struggle is as welcomed as a sack of dirty diapers. You are voicing something we probably already believe while not acknowledging that we are hurting and that somewhere a child is going to bed without a mother again. Please never say this again. Thank you.
2. “Are you going to have your own kids?” (Also in this category: “You’ll probably get pregnant the minute your adoption clears!” “Since this is so hard, why don’t you just try to have your own kids?” “Well, at least you have your own kids.”) The subtle message here is: You can always have legitimate biological kids if this thing tanks. It places adoption in the Back-up Plan Category, where it does not belong for us. When we flew to Ethiopia with our first travel group from our agency, out of 8 couples, we were the only parents with biological kids. The other 7 couples chose adoption first. Several of them were on birth control. Adoption counts as real parenting, and if you believe stuff Jesus said, it might even be closer to the heart of God than regular old procreation. (Not to mention the couples that grieved through infertility already. So when you say, “Are you going to have your own kids?” to a woman who tried for eight years, then don’t be surprised if she pulls your beating heart out like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.)
3. For those of you in Christian community, it is extremely frustrating to hear: “Don’t give up on God!” or “Don’t lose faith!” It implies that we are one nanosecond away from tossing our entire belief system in the compost pile because we are acting sad or discouraged. It’s condescending and misses the crux of our emotions. I can assure you, at no point in our story did we think about kicking Jesus to the curb, but we still get to cry tears and feel our feelings, folks. Jesus did. And I’m pretty sure he went to heaven when he died.
4. We’re happy to field your questions about becoming a transracial family or adopting a child of another race, but please don’t use this moment to trot out your bigotry. (Cluelessness is a different thing, and we try to shrug that off. Like when someone asked about our Ethiopian kids, “Will they be black?” Aw, sweet little dum-dum.) The most hurtful thing we heard during our wait was from a black pastor who said, “Whatever you do, don’t change their last name to Hatmaker, because they are NOT Hatmakers. They’ll never be Hatmakers. They are African.” What the??? I wonder if he’d launch the same grenade if we adopted white kids from Russia? If you’d like to know what we’re learning about raising children of another race or ask respectful, legitimate questions, by all means, do so. We care about this and take it seriously, and we realize we will traverse racial landmines with our family. You don’t need to point out that we are adopting black kids and we are, in fact, white. We’ve actually already thought of that.
5. Saying nothing is the opposite bad. I realize with blogs like this one, you can get skittish on how to talk to a crazed adopting Mama without getting under her paper-thin skin or inadvertently offending her. I get it. (We try hard not to act so hypersensitive. Just imagine that we are paper-pregnant with similar hormones surging through our bodies making us cry at Subaru commercials just like the 7-month preggo sitting next to us. And look at all this weight we’ve gained. See?) But acting like we’re not adopting or struggling or waiting or hoping or grieving is not helpful either. If I was pregnant with a baby in my belly, and no one ever asked how I was feeling or how much longer or is his nursery ready or can we plan a shower, I would have to audition new friend candidates immediately.
Here’s what we would love to hear Before the Airport:
1. Just kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait. We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD. I was once having lunch with my friend Lynde when AWAA called with more bad news about Ben’s case, and I laid my head down on the table in the middle of Galaxy Café and bawled. Having no idea what to do with such a hot mess, she just cried with me. Thank you for being perfect that day, Lynde.
2. Your questions are welcomed! We don’t mind telling you about the court system in Ethiopia or the in-country requirements in Nicaragua or the rules of the foster system. We’re glad to talk about adoption, and we’re thankful you care. I assure you we didn’t enter adoption lightly, so sharing details of this HUGE PIECE OF OUR LIVES is cathartic. Plus, we want you to know more because we’re all secretly hoping you’ll adopt later. (This is not true.) (Yes it is.)
3. When you say you’re praying for us and our waiting children, and you actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day.
4. If you can, please become telepathic to determine which days we want to talk about adoption and which days we’d rather you just show up on our doorstep with fresh figs from the Farmer’s Market (thanks, Katie) or kidnap us away in the middle of the day to go see Bridesmaids. Sometimes we need you to make us laugh and remember what it feels like to be carefree for a few hours. If you’re not sure which day we’re having, just pre-buy movie tickets and show up with the figs, and when we answer the door, hold them all up and ask, “Would you like to talk for an hour uninterrupted about waiting for a court date?” We’ll respond to whichever one fits.
Supporting Families After the Airport
You went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)
How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:
1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.
2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.
3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.
4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.
5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.
6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.
Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:
1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.
2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.
3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.
4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.
5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.
Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.
Because that day you brought us pulled pork tacos was the exact day I needed to skip dinner prep and hold my son on the couch for an hour, talking about Africa and beginning to bind up his emotional wounds. When you kidnapped me for two hours and took me to breakfast, I was at the very, very, absolute end that morning, but I came home renewed, able to greet my children after school with fresh love and patience. When you loved on my big kids and offered them sanctuary for a night, you kept the family rhythm in sync at the end of a hard week.
Thank you for being the village. You are so important.
Adoptive friends, what can you add? What has been helpful or hurtful? How has your community helped you raise your children? What do friends and family need to hear?
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